I will write you 5 unique personalized jokes, on any topic you want, perfectly matched to the context

I can already tell that you're a busy and attractive person, why should you have to write your own jokes? Want to know who doesn't write his own material? Jay Leno and Gandhi. Hire me as your personal writer, be like Gandhi. I'm a professional stand-up comic, give me any topic and I will write you 5 original, personalized, and tweetable jokes. Perfect for that big presentation, toast, or essay!